Anxiety: the biggest obstacle to a happy life.

Maintaining your sanity

Madhuri Jain
5 min readSep 9, 2022


I just came to the conclusion that the main driving force behind all of my important life decisions was fear. I wanted to get married because I was concerned about the right age. I was striving to be the ideal daughter-in-law because I was afraid of having my upbringing critiqued. Because I had a fear of failing in the relationship, I tried to make it as flawless as possible. Because I had a fear of being alone at a later stage of life, I planned for a child. I realized I was in a constant race to act according to the society norms or the frameworks that I had created for myself. And failing to keep those standards instigated my anxiety.

If events do not unfold within certain frameworks, I feel as though I am sinking. Unconsciously, I put pressure on myself to live up to expectations set by society or for that matter the standards that I have set for myself. I frequently don’t realize that my actions don’t match my thinking, or that my beliefs are formed in accordance with societal conventions.

When I hear the word anxiety, what do I comprehend?

An unknown fear which makes me do things in a certain way or a fear of uncertainty that causes a worry.

When we Google “definition of anxiety,” we quickly learn what it is:

A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

Isn’t anxiety, by definition, a characteristic of the human personality? How is it a disorder, exactly? On some level or another, anxiety affects everyone.

However, if we are aware of its symptoms, we can decide when to ask the right people for assistance. It is past time for us to start discussing mental health and treating it the same as any physical wound or accident. The youth or millennials has come to accept several celebrities after they publicly shared their insecurities. However, the topic is still tough for our parents’ generation to understand. Below is the Google trend chart over past five years and though the graph is fluctuating, the search terms that contain the keyword “Anxiety” have increased.

Image credit: Google Trends

Do any of the below-mentioned signs or symptoms apply to you? I occasionally go through all of them, and each time I do, I feel as though my mind is about to blow up.

  1. Fear of failure
  2. Never doing enough
  3. Dread of the unknown
  4. Feeling like you don’t have control over your life
  5. Feeling overwhelmed by constantly running behind something and juggling between multiple tasks.

I used to work extremely hard in school and have had high standards for myself my entire life. For once, I remember feeling underprepared for one of my exams. I was therefore too afraid to take it. My father, on the other hand, urged me and told me not to worry about the outcome. I somehow managed to take that exam as a result, and I did not perform up to my expectations. Nobody ever told me anything, but I was always held back by my own fear of failing. Since that experience, there have been a few more similar occasions where I am too afraid to approach any challenging scenario, and occasionally I even give up on the challenging tasks. Even though I am aware that nothing will happen, my worry prevents me from taking on anything that I find difficult.

We all experience anxiety related to uncertainty and failure. We lose out on a number of opportunities as a result of this dread or anxiety. I’ve made the decision to start addressing my anxiety issues, and to that end, I’ve taken a few actions that will enable me to live a better life and provide a better environment for my family.

Here are a few things I’ve begun doing in life that I hope will help you if you’re going through a similar phase.

  • It’s crucial to feel in control of your time. As a result, try to avoid striving for perfection in everything you do and instead, ask for assistance wherever you can.
  • Making a to-do list or simply writing down the chores improves mental clarity.
  • Each person is unique, so a universal answer to their problem is not possible. Therefore, we must stop bombarding ourselves with self-help books and motivational speeches. Instead, make an effort to identify the root of the issue and work your way up from there to find a workable solution.
  • Avoid comparison and choose your own path of what works for you.
  • Recognize the situation that caused mental imbalance or emotional overwhelm and ask yourself questions such as what caused this situation, what could I do different to not face the same situation again.
  • If you are an emotional person like me, try reading out material/books that help you grow mentally. Currently I am reading, Master your emotions- by Thibaut Meurisse
  • You can access anything by pressing a button. Social media, regular emails with offers, digital marketing, and targeted marketing all contribute to the development of our wants. We instill the idea that we require all of these things in order to live well. Social media has made the world smaller and by looking at the picture-perfect life of other people, it is obvious to have a fear of missing out (FOMO). As a result, we feel more pressure to accomplish more in life. In the end, having more money, fame, and success causes anxiety. Reducing digital presence will surely bring you some peace. Setting timers on the social networking applications is one way I’ve attempted to accomplish this. When you set timers, you won’t be able to use the app that day after your allotted time has passed.

I have a long way to go before I can regulate my emotions, or even my anxieties. However, I am confident that I will strive toward that and use my emotions to help me succeed instead of serving as a roadblock. I hope that my insights are useful for you too.




Madhuri Jain

Empowering ambitious mothers who are in their 20s and 30s to break through their limiting beliefs and reach their full potential.